Happy

That I am lying down
with my eyes closed
doesn't mean I'm sleeping

That the corners op my lips
are curved up
doesn't mean I smile

when there are tears rolling down my face
however does mean that I'm crying
because I'm happy, sad, or scared
or maybe I don't know why

That we don't talk
doesn't mean that I don't miss you

That I don't eat
doesn't mean my body doesn't need the energy

That I suck my hardest on this bong
doesn't mean that I feel like getting high

all it means
is that I am stupidly
trying to be happy


-RP

Era of clear confusion

magical mystery time machine
zap zap
back to the year 2011
Lost little invisible girl
whom you wouldn't see, hear or notice
on a summer day with the sun shining on her face
she found her place in this world
high grass, blue skies,
warm hearts, billion smiles
like BAM
and she knew what it meant
what if feels like
to belong somewhere
to long for something
to feel your heart pounding in your chest
doubts lose their significance,
two feet touching the ground
bare feet, shoes or otherwise
there is nothing to stop you from moving
either forward, sideways, or even backward if you must
confidence and trust are the magic words
breathe now, be you

Now the hope that nothing will ever change
is nothing but a cruel illusion
that this ending is actually a new beginning
may add to this confusion

the groundless part

the insecurity part

the confusion part

The part brings about disconnect

yet paradoxically is what keeps you connected
the surface of the earth crumbles apart beneath your feet
brace yourself for the free fall
let those tears run down your soft cheeks
embrace the loneliness
the insecurity
bite your nails if you have to
cuddle your dog
let the kitten prrr and meow
and be scared for a while
until you scare the scared
with your ultimate revenge of happiness
let the depression monster tease you
knowing that it will always catch you off guard
will you let it throw you over?
you felt worthy in that place
can you let everything else touch and move you?
laugh, make art, embrace the world
go dancing, running, drink wine
just remember that you must look up
to see the sun shine 

-RP

Een minuut

Zo rusteloos
als een op hol geslagen paard

en de klok

die tikt

en tikt maar door

wat een afgrijselijk lawaai

ik kijk om me heen

alles beweegt

alles vervaagd
Ik staar wazig voor me uit

mijn blik rust op niets

alles in de omgeving

wordt geabsorbeerd

geëxtraheerd

mijn geest implodeert

of alles om mij heen explodeert

kortom kan ik in miljoenen woorden vangen

dat ik het niet weet

dat ik het nooit geweten heb

dat ik maar raaskal

over zogenaamd diepzinnige dingen

zoals het schrijven van een essay van duizenden woorden

terwijl na de eerste vierenveertig alles wel gezegd is

Zo vreselijk rusteloos

en terwijl ik naar de klok kijk

realiseer ik me

dat het weer diezelfde akelige minuut is die me zit te plagen

die zestig seconden voelen als een eeuwigheid

59 tot 00

-RP

POEMS

Poems

are just words

on a piece of paper

neatly put down

more vertical

than horizontal

poems

are just words

expressing a feeling

a moment

of things as they are

your verbal kodak moment

Poems

words

vertical

feelings

tears

now

N
O
W

-RP

The form

Forward march
right -- right --
right, leeeft, left
surrender to the form
soon you will understand
for now just listen
to the ones who are in command
wear sunblock
button
cover
put your pin straight
no talking in the food line
useless fucking finger exercise
and breakfast is at 8
fuck off
screw you
I want to scream and cry
and run away
throw my hat on the ground
middle finger mudra
why do I stay?
Transform
head and shoulders
discipline, it's impressive
Cesar would be proud
I am so very calm submissive 

-RP

Tomorrow

Been counting down forever
to the the day that would never come
longingly waiting
not to feel your touch
not to kiss your lips
not to feel your arms around me
so many days of torturous pining
this time has felt soooo looonnnnnggggggggggggggggg
Well now, my bags are packed
with many bows and thanks
tomorrow that day will be gone

-RP

Loved you

I loved you once,
so deeply, madly
served my heart on a plate for you
but sadly
those forks and knives
have been put to good use
offered to be your lover
to be your muse
and so it was
and my heart
was cut into a thousand little pieces
bleeding
every single drop was spilled
please remember
a broken heart tastes best,
with a glass of wine
preferably chilled
-RP